Guest Post: Ben-Ram Responds to Questioners

Above: Ben-Ram presents his material being for inquiries
His scheduled visit to the North Adams College of Spiritual Thematics having been unexpectedly cancelled, Ben-Ram, whom I knew in the early years before he became a Thematic Seer, asked if I would allow him to communicate with his disappointed Berkshire disciples through my weblog. I couldn’t be happier to comply. Take it away, B-R!

A QUESTIONER ASKS: Do you represent a specific religion with which I might be familiar?

BEN-RAM: I am asked this many times because of the “Ram” portion of my name, which calls to mind the notable visionary Baba Ram Dass, with whom I shared an enthusiasm for stamp-collecting during his pre-enlightened Harvard days and whom I have watched with pleasure as he has ascended the many staircases of cosmic wisdom in the years since our youthful frivolities. Or it may have been his officemate I am thinking of. The two looked very similar except for the broken nose on one or the other of them, which mutated to great effect when either I or he was in the thrall of lysergic acid. Those stamps of ours would probably be worth a fortune now, but since then I have lost all interest in earthly treasures.

Some, meanwhile, sense a hint in my name of Rama (Ramayana), the seventh son of Vishnu, and that connection may indeed have influenced my parents at the time of my birth as they were sifting through possible names. That seems doubtful, though, since they were both Baptists.

These connections can be misleading, I will be the first to acknowledge, since they bear no relationship to my own spiritual beliefs. I have gently rebuked my parents many times for sowing such seeds of confusion while I was still in my crib, but one cannot revisit the past, only the future.

A QUESTIONER ASKS: Have you recovered fully from your recent trawler mishap?

BEN-RAM: But for a few bruises and a mild anal abrasion that I am only aware of when rainstorms are approaching. Thank you for asking.

A QUESTIONER ASKS: When do you plan to return to the Berkshires, or has the cancellation of your advertised appearance at the college here made you disinclined to reschedule a visit.

BEN-RAM: My affection for truth-seekers everywhere prevents me from harboring grudges over silly booking reversals, which is why I allow my lawyers to handle breach of contract disputes that arise in the course of my travels. (There’s no excuse for the missing paperwork to have gone undiscovered until I was already en route from Pittsfield.) But I met a truly wonderful harpsichordist at one of the homebound bus stops who expanded my understanding of how tinniness of timbre can serve as an aural analogy for childbirth on which I hope to expand in future lectures, so the journey was worthwhile even though my anticipation of a proper welcome by my many followers in the area proved illusory.

Ben-Ram’s tells me that his next appearance will be in Montana at a date and place yet to be announced.

About Howard

I'm a cartoonist and writer, best known for my graphic novel, Stuck Rubber Baby, and my comic strip from the 1980s, Wendel.
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